Wonder Woman? Yeah right, she had it easy.

I feel as though my whole brain has been through some serious trauma...and it has-trust.

but with all that has happened of late, I've been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching and I came to the conclusion that there has been some serious ass kicking going on around here and I should have called the authorities but I don't think they would hear me out or take me in for doing it to myself. (They may however tell me to seek some professional help-for which I currently am...)

Let me tell you that a lot (and I stress A LOT)-of the reason I am here is because of the pressures I have put on myself to be PERFECT. Oh and "here" being the frazzled OCD, mental case formally known as myself. The expectations for mothers (and for women in general) is exhausting! As a mother I was bred in this generation to be great at EVERYTHING at all cost. Some of you might feel this way as well... but I feel I must balance the home, the marriage, being an A student, (the future career), and of course raising an amazing human being...oh AND have the perfect post baby body!!! (SERIOUSLY??) I don't know who CAN function with this kind of pressure...it's no wonder I have buckled trying to "have it all" and look great while doing it...curious to think why so many of us have been on anti-depressants and anxiety pills...

and when did we start judging each other as mothers too...I feel terrible because I honestly have done that very thing.. like when in the store and a 3 year old child is throwing a major tantrum... and I'm thinking "oh my god, why doesn't she just get control of her child"....because you know 3 year olds don't ever throw fits and this is somehow completely abnormal and totally a for sure sign that she is a horrible mother.

Also, for me I am great at living in the "what if I only" state of mind and it is so irritating..."what if I had stayed more focused in school", "what if I hadn't moved", "what if I had kept that job", "what if I hadn't wasted so much of my time dating that seriously lame guy that was completely wrong for me and I knew it but still dated him anyway"...I could go on and on... This is exactly when the "kicking my own ass" comes into play. Well the reality of it is I DID make all those choices and they are now a part of who I am and as cheesy and cliche as it may sound...it really did shape me into to ME. Now when starting to think the "what if I only's" I add on to it "well then I wouldn't have"... and add one of the many really amazing, great things in my life NOW at the end. It has definitely been an eye opener and the negative thinking has got to STOP.( I sometimes actually have to picture a STOP sign in my head.) For now, I'm trying to live in THIS moment and have realistic expectations for just today. Tomorrow can wait...(because it will get here soon enough!)

As my wonderful therapist Dr. Dunnewold told me, it doesn't have to be perfect...just perfectly good.

Oh and as for Wonder Woman? She really was delusional.. what woman in her right mind would go out in this ghastly looking outfit?!